Why
by hermionesmydawg
Summary: Deeks always has a reason why NOT to do something. Tag to episode 6x14, Black Wind.


**Episode tag to 6x14, Black Wind. As usual, I own NOTHING BUT MY FEELINGS.**

* * *

Warm bed, warm body, dreary day...who in their right mind would want to get up and go to work on a day like this? Certainly not the three occupants of the small LA apartment that have been avoiding the alarm clock for twenty minutes. The dog is the only one of the group privileged enough to actually sleep the day away, though.

"You need to get up," she groans (kinda more like a moan), swinging her leg over her partner's waist as he kisses her neck. Her words certainly don't match her actions.

"Already there."

"Deeks."

"Ugh." He pulls away and pouts dramatically. "This is why I shouldn't start kissing you in the morning."

"Because I try to avoid your morning breath like the plague?" Kensi teases.

"Wow, you suck, and this time not in the good way." Nuzzling against her jaw, he forgives her insult quickly. "Once I start, I never want to stop."

She closes her eyes with a smile and wraps her fingers in his hair, bringing his lips to hers. "Maybe just a few more minutes."

They both ignore the disapproving grunt from the dog bed below.

* * *

"My ass is on fire."

"The cactus was your idea."

"Yeah, for decoration, not for pricks in my ass."

"Did you just-"

"That came out so wrong." Deeks adjusts in his seat, resting most of his weight on his left hip. "This is why you shouldn't try to save the planet."

Kensi curls her lip in amusement. "Because of cactus pricks?"

"No," he grunts. "Because people don't take it seriously. It's just 'Deeks being weird again' every time I try to do anything out of the norm."

"Maybe," she says, holding a finger in the air, "forego the rhymes about going number one next time."

"My rhymes about going number two are even better."

Her eyes roll so hard that it makes her brain hurt. "Please stop."

It's just the two of them in the car, so Deeks rests his hand on her thigh. "I have a proposal."

"Listening."

He squeezes his fingers. "Conserve water by sharing showers." She raises an eyebrow suspiciously. "What? It could save-"

"Fine," she replies with a grin. "Shared showers for the sake of saving the planet."

"Say that five times fast."

"No."

* * *

"This is why you shouldn't fall in love."

Maybe he deserves the guaranteed death that awaits him at the top of the steps after making that statement. It was more of a sarcastic love comment than a grand confession, anyway. His mouth filter doesn't always work, especially when he realizes the woman he has extremely strong feelings for is prepared to leave this world before him. There's no way in hell he is going to let that happen.

That doesn't count as dropping a big L bomb, right? No, it can't count.

Especially since her only response back was "aw."

Deeks releases the precious breath he had been holding onto when his head isn't blown off after he peaks up out of the tunnel. The only thing louder than his pounding heart in his ears is the sigh of relief from his partner at the bottom of the ladder. Certain death: avoided. She shakes her head and is all business again.

That definitely didn't count.

* * *

His eyes are red and he won't look at anything but his fists as Kensi parks her Cadillac outside the Mission doors. The air is thick with unspoken words of disappointment and self-loathing, mostly on his part. If you look at the big picture, they won today. But Deeks doesn't see things in big pictures - everything is a collage of tiny bits and pieces that come together to make something whole and beautiful. If one part is off, the whole picture is ruined. So, they failed today. He failed.

"I need to go in and do some research," he says gruffly, unfastening his seatbelt. "I know there has to be a loophole with federal jurisdictions. There always is."

She sighs. "Deeks, you…"

"I what?" He asks, finally looking her in the eye. Granger's words sound in his head again - _Don't make another promise you can't keep_. "We did this, Kensi. I know the law and I let myself be blinded by the greater good. I have to fix this."

"This is _not_ your fault."

"Telling me that won't change the fact that an innocent kid is going to have a bullet in his brain before he can even ask for his morning bowl of Zucaritas."

"Stop it!" Kensi growls, grabbing his hand. "We are all going to do everything we can to help them. But you are not the one holding that gun. Okay?"

His fingers are trembling in her hand, and he knows that she is right. If only facts could nullify feelings. "It hurts."

She nods. "I know."

Swallowing hard, he gathers his emotions before reaching for the door handle. "This is why you shouldn't care so much."

* * *

"I still can't believe you hugged Granger."

Deeks smiles widely and drops his bag to the floor before reaching down to ruffle Monty's ears. "I kinda like that bastard."

"Bastard," Kensi snorts. "But yeah, he does grow on you."

"Kind of like a wart, if warts were badass and awesome while still being annoying."

She shakes her head. "You are so weird."

"Guilty." With a thud, he plops down on his lumpy couch and closes his eyes. It has been a long and stressful day. But somehow in the end, everything is right in the world. Good prevailed over evil, the heroes won and the bad guys lost. Those few people in the gray area now have a second chance. He is satisfied - after all, happy endings are what help him sleep at night.

"Hey," Kensi says, sliding down next to him. It startles him away from his thoughts and he opens his eyes, sitting up straight. "You good?"

"Yeah. I think I am," he answers honestly, offering a small smile.

"Good." She smiles back and toys with the rough denim of his pants. "Ya know, you've kinda got me thinking today."

"I'm scared."

"Shut up or you'll make me rethink this."

He narrows his eyes and cocks his head. "Okay…"

"You always say the things that you shouldn't do, but you're wrong." She clears her throat. "You can't keep your hands off of me in the morning. You want to save the planet and every man, woman, child, plant, and inanimate object on it."

"Not cockroaches," he interrupts.

"Except cockroaches," Kensi says with a laugh. "And you care about everything, you care too damn much for your own good. Everything you say you shouldn't do, those are the things you should do. They are…why I love you."

This time, it counts. The comical response would be "aw." The logical response would be "I love you, too." But instead he kisses her, trying to think of how he can explain why he loves her too.

As usual, his actions speak louder than words with Kensi. He plans on spending the whole night showing her why.


End file.
